Mr Dettman – 9En1 – Slow Writing Poem

Due: Wednesday, 15th April

Read ‘Hawk Roosting’, by Ted Hughes:

Using the Slow Writing technique, as below, construct a poem about a British animal of your choice.

C/D Grade: You need to write from the 1st person, and be sure to create a strong sense of imagery through carefully chosen and ambitious vocabulary (can you use the thesaurus here?)

B/A Grade: Convey a real sense of mood and tone throughout the poem, and look try and write 2 parts, using different ‘poetic voices’/perspectives.  (Maybe the animal, and a human.)

Slow Writing

  • Rule Number 1: This is a slow writing exercise.
  • Ruler Number 2: This is a SLOW writing exercise.
  • Rule Number 3: This is a DRAFT.
  • Rule Number 4: Double space your writing.  (This looks like t h i s.)
  • Rule Number 5: You must start your first point/sentence with a present participle (that’s a verb ending in ‘ing’) e.g. ‘Considering’; ‘Listening’.
  • Rule Number 6: Your second sentence must contain only three – four words.
    Rule Number 7: Your third sentence must contain a semi-colon.
  • Ruler Number 8: Your fourth sentence must be a rhetorical question.
  • Rule Number 9: Your fifth sentence will start with an adverb (a word that describes a verb in terms of PLACE; TIME or MANNER e.g. boldly; hourly; daily; angrily; quickly; foolishly; bravely etc.)
  • Rule Number 10: Your sixth sentence will contain a simile.

18 thoughts on “Mr Dettman – 9En1 – Slow Writing Poem

  1. Lucy Br :D

    My poem is meh ;-;


    Stopping, snooping, resting, rolling,
    Strolling through Great British gardens
    Endlessly wounding rolling tires; My spears are sharp-
    Does my life ever seem to harden?

    Careless, carefree, munching, masticating,
    Hiding in colossal borders,
    Like a secret spy; Like a breath in the wind,
    I have no law, I have no order.

    Bumbling, blundering, lumbering, lolling,
    Lazily lounging in a great green palace-
    No enemy can match my lances; No enemy can harm my hide-
    I am invincible, have I any who wishes to step up to the challenge?

  2. katiee12358

    My prickly spines,
    will never compare,
    to any other,
    for I, am a porcuipine.

    I trudge across the leafy grounds,
    for I can’t reach that high- my paws are tiny!
    Trudging around with no intention,
    for my spikes, sharp as a dagger, are one great invention!

    What is bad? I hear you say.
    Being a porcupine isn’t all play,
    it always leaves me a sense of dismay.
    I look at the others and sigh.

    A porcupine is an easy prey,
    I’ve always longed to be a bigger animal, like the one that goes ‘neigh’.
    The name, I don’t know- porcupines have small brains!

    I’ve always dreamt of going out to slay,
    something like a dragon, or an elephant, say.
    But I eat worms, that is, on a good day.

    I am frail.
    Hunting is, for me, a fail.
    I hide in the leaves, which cover me in the most beautiful veil.

    I have no tail,
    but all I hope is that I never end up in a pet sale.

    Alas, it was that one day,
    a gigantic creature picked me up, hands grey,
    grey with all the other strays in this woodland plain.

    I wake up to see a box,
    a box adhered with nails,
    I look at the misty view,
    and see my reflection in a sign reading ‘for sale’.

    I completley forgot about the rules when writing this, but I wrote a lot. I can re-do it, since that was the brief, but is it ok?

  3. Chessie

    Swimming in the distant lakes,
    with my ducks and drakes,
    eating underwater plants; an easy life,
    why are us ducks so prone to strife?
    Swiftly swimming across the territory,
    like labs with perfect chemistry.

  4. julie

    creeping crawling cunningly ….
    seeking searching endlessly…
    I am a meat eater; a carnivore.
    who am I?
    quickly I spot my prize .
    I leap my claws as sharp as knifes.
    My claws dig into the flesh like a knife in butter.
    Clawing at my pray it is a falling tree.
    The blood is a sweet treat
    The neck snaps at my teeth
    I am a lion as fast as a bullet
    as strong as steal
    much stronger than you…


  5. Georgia

    Leaping by, I realise it’s just a lie
    All the faces here, tonight.
    are just here to watch me die.
    He leaps about; quickening his pace.
    A lady gasps and covers her face,
    they cannot bare to watch this commotion.
    But, will the burns feel as deep as the big, blue ocean?

    The poor creature standing there,
    looking so vulnerable, yet no one cares.
    It’s life is just a trick, which only some can bare to see.
    I cover my face, cruelty is not something that pleases me.

  6. Bronwyn

    Nestling underneath my shed
    lives Mr.fred.
    He wonders around at night;he looks for insects o fill his appetite.
    Have you ever seen such an amazing sight?
    Bravely, he does not back down when badgers come,
    His spikes stand strong like a protective mum.

    Walking alone, i am solitary.
    I sleep nocturnally.
    I am powerful pest-control;i eat insects, that’s why.
    Who am i?
    Defensively ill stab you with my brutal blades .
    I’m also as smelly as a skunk’s spray.

  7. Jonah

    The Shark

    Flowing, slowly I await her
    Teeth like daggers; sharp for slaughter
    Streamline, my frame memorable
    How can I be so terrible?

    Foolishly, I wait without bother
    I see fins slice the butter like water
    I assume it’s a fish, a tentacle?
    Still unaware, my life edible

  8. Frieder

    The Fox

    Sneaking through the lonely woods,
    Watching out to get some food.
    I’m a fox, who is on hunt,
    They will see; it has begun.

    Do they fear me?
    Definitely they will,
    Because i will hunt till theyre still.

    Im fast as shadows,
    Hard as steel,
    They will know and they will feel.


  9. keeley

    The slow transformation
    s l e e p i n g, s l e e p i n g i n s i d e m y c o c o o n
    l i k e a b a b y, s n o o z e.
    I w a i t a n d w a i t u n t i l I b l o o m; w a i t i n g, w a i t i n g, w a i t i n g.
    h o w m u c h l o n g e r w i l l I w a i t ?
    a n g r i l y I w i g g l e,
    a s h e l p l e s s a s a b a b y.

  10. Kieron

    Trundling by the old car went, puffing plumes of smoke. are the tyres going to pop? driven foolishly by a daft old drunk. like a fish out of water the man sobers up.

  11. Jenna

    The Fox

    Hunting, I am a Hen’s worst nightmare.
    The rabbit slayer.
    The farmers hate me; they never get me, I am too quick.
    Is my lifestyle too deadly?
    Angrily, I take my first bite of rabbit flesh, juice filling my mouth.
    I am as deadly as poision to those who catch my eye, they will never escape.

  12. Beth

    I am the baby Turtle.
    I am born on land, yes,
    a sea reptile,
    not actually starting life in the sea.
    my flat tiny fins flap at the sand as I struggle to scrape myself to the what look like 10ft waves,
    and not even any help from my parents.
    My shell feels like 10 massive stones on my back, which is not helping me get to the sea.
    Seagulls surround the beach, with their fearsome eyes following my every move.
    questioning life or death,
    my tiny body smashes against the waves.

  13. finley

    The frog

    s n a t c h i n g, f l i e s f r o m t h e s k i e s, w h a t e v e r w i l l b e n e x t?
    i’l l b e m u n c h i n g , c r u n c h i n g.

    t h e p o n d l o v e r s d i s p i s e m e; i a m s o c r u e l. D o t h e y k n o w m e?

    B r a v e l y m r f r o g s t o o d u p t a l l t o t h e p o n d l o v e r s. R a p i d l y, r a c i n g h e w a s q u i c k t o b e a t t h e t r i c k o f t h e p o n d l o v e r s .

  14. Julius

    Floating through the blue sky and watching the earth go by. You never think of me.
    You don´t like me; You sometimes kill me, but usually – I´m too fast.
    Too fast for you to catch me,but not fot the birds to get me, but I exist since the dinasaurs lived on this planet; I saw the Romans coming; I saw Queen Victoria being crowned; I saw a Kings child drown, however have you seen me ?
    Daily I die, daily I´m born – I´m a bit worn.
    But I can´t help it, I just do what my name tells me to do- I fly.

  15. Andy

    Thriving with horrible diseases.
    A sneeky scavenger.
    everyones worst nightmare; I am a rat.
    holes in your wall, who did that?
    cleverly, I stay out of sight, hiding in every knoock and cranny of the wall. I am like a walking bat, ugly, hated and avoided by everyone…

  16. Urchy

    t r u d g i n g t h r o u g h t h e w e t g r a s s

    M y p r e y i s h o p e l e s s

    I a m s l i t h e r i n g t o w o a r d s h i m ; I a m a m a s t e r o f s t e a l t h.

    H a v e y o u e v e r s e e n s u c h b e u a t y ?

    G l i m m e r i n g i n t h e s u n , m y z i g – z a g s c o v e r m y l o n g b o d y.

    I s t r i k e m y f u r y p a t h e t i c p r e y , h i s h o t b l o o d i s c r i m s o n l i k e t h e d a w n i n g s k y

    P o i s o n g u s h e s t h r o u g h h i s v e i n s , i t s t i m e t o f e a s t

    Y o u a l l k n o w o f m e – t h e A d d e r

  17. Saul :P

    In the pleasant fields I strole,

    Not a care in the world.

    Eating grass all day.

    From the morning till the night

    In the pleasant fields I lie.

    In my flock I walk

    Up on the green and magnificent Welsh Hills.

    My coast is off wool,

    White as the whitest snowdrop,

    As fluffy as a cloud on a warm summer day

    Softer than a new teddy.

    For I am a sheep, from wales.

    The best sheep….. From wales.

  18. mrdettman Post author

    Hopping, bopping
    Through the field
    Long ears bent; can’t be concealed
    Oh farmer why must you shoot?
    Proudly showing off your loot
    Like a pogo stick, I jump so high,
    I hope one day to reach the sky.
    I’m a rabbit, why can’t you see?
    The human life’s just not for me.



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