Mr Dettman – 10En2 – Non-Linear Narrative

Due: Wednesday, 25th March

Write about a fictional incident about a natural disaster or natural event using non-linear narrative (flash-forward or flashback).  These must be at least two sizable paragraphs in length.

e.g. a tsunami; a volcanic eruption; a solar eclipse etc.

Before both paragraphs, build a list of words to do with your theme, and write them down in your response, before the paragraphs.  e.g. if I was writing about a forest fire, I would look up ‘hot‘ in the thesaurus, and come up with: warm; boiling; scorching; fiery etc.

E/D Grade: You should start with a flashforward, being sure to end on a cliffhanger, to leave you reader with a mystery, before revealing the truth behind it in your next paragraphs.

C/B Grade: You should aim to have a clear narrative progression throughout your short story, making sure to use your non-linear start to give a ‘Disruption‘; before following through to ‘Equilibrium‘ (everything back to normal) to finish.  You will need at least 3 paragraphs.

Extension: You might like to experiment with different narrative viewpoints.


6 thoughts on “Mr Dettman – 10En2 – Non-Linear Narrative

  1. Luke harding

    On Friday morning I heard that there was going to be a solar eclipse then I had a memory of what happened last time when my eyes got damage by the sun when it got really dark.

    So then in the time before it started I went to the shops and got some special sun glasses that would protect my eyes from it.

    Then at 9:30 on the Friday morning I went outside and then I enjoyed the dark and gloomy eclipse which made all of the birds stop tweeting and everything went quite as I filmed the amazing eclipse since 1999.

    Then as I remembered what happened last time I was worried it would happen again but now I had my glasses on I did not have to worry about it ever again.

    1. Joshua hobson

      The fire grew higher and higher overhead, the heat was scorching my skin while I made a plan of escape, my only chance was to run, so I did down the fifth floor running to the next set of stairs. I made it to the forth floor this was even worse than the others, there was a massive jump separating me from safty, I went for it, I jumped and made it, as I made it to the first floor their was a lot of gassey smoke around me. Two fire men dragged me out as I collapsed, I was safe.

      Flashback- it was another day for jake he was doing his work, for a new project he was working on, he got into work late today and he wanted to make up the lost time. It was two thirty and jake was tired he went to get a coffe and he felt a sizzling hear on his face, he ignored it thinking it was just him but he was wrong, he saw the flames.

  2. kurtis

    He was stuck in the middle of the roaring flames with the heat singeing the hairs on his face. Seeing people through the black smoke climbing to their feet and stumbling again, people’s screams echoing in the distance. The time seemed to freeze, every second felt like hours.

    Flash back. one morning he woke up and he decided to go on a camping trip. when he arrived at the forest he didn’t like the thought of staying fair inside the forest. A couple hours later he thought he better go and get some wood for a fire. then he saw some thick black smoke in the fair end of the forest so he ran to go and have a look

  3. Clark Baker

    Running. That is the only thing I could think about. But where? The flames already surrounded me and I didn’t see just a little way through them. The flames got closer and closer and I started sweating more and more because of the intolerable boiling. Slowly I wasn’t able to breathe anymore because my lungs were filled with smoke. But then out of nowhere I saw a couple of shadows through the wall of flames. But before I could take a closer look everything around me became black.
    It was sunny dry afternoon in my favorite forest. I heard the birds singing and saw the sun rays between the trees coming down. I thought I maybe will already find some mushrooms hidden under the woolly moss and cook me and my family a nice dinner tonight. Today I wasn’t the only one in the forest. I saw some campers sitting near to their tents both with a fag in their hands. But I carried on and after 2 hours with a full basket of mushrooms I saw how late it already is. I still have to cook for my children and they are probably already hungry I thought. I went slowly back to my car when I saw it. Smoke protruded out of the treetops and I could already see flames behind my car. A forest fire. The flames are far away from my car I thought. I will have enough time to get to it and drive away. But I was wrong after and exhausting sprint to my car the flames were already right and left next to me. At this moment I had only one thought; Running.

  4. Harry Cheong

    A earthquake, a tsunami terrible natural disasters. Since 2011 had a serious earthquake and tsunami in Tokyo, live in there the citizens they lost everything. They lost their children, parents, house……and a lot people lost their life. The large storm broke the nuclear power generator, so the nuclear radiation made all the biological deform include human. I remember had a guy and I think she is a woman and she stay in the radio stations, she know she will die but she still on the radio station command the people go somewhere save and also told them what’s going on; I think she is a hero.

    Now is 2015, is already 4 years later, but the citizens still need staying in the refuge, they still not having their own house back. Although I am not one for the citizen in Tokyo I feel sad, if I am one of the citizen, I will always complain; “Why me?”, “Why this happen in Tokyo ?”, and I think if my parents, my brother die, I don’t know what to do, maybe I will just say I hit my life and then kill myself, because survival already not make any sense to me, I think survival or death have no different.

  5. brandon harding

    when i was a kid there was an terrible disaster when i was in my school there was an tornado disaster, i was extremely shocked of how fast i took i was in the lesson until there it happened we all had to evacuate the lesson and get as far away as possible. I could smell the grass being ripped up from the innocent fields and when we got back it was all gone there as not one single sight of the school left to be seen it was entirely demolished.

    when my teacher was telling me about what happened i was horrified on how these could happen to anyone i mean i could o happened to us at that very moment we are not knowing how lucky we all are to see the things we do see and i was so engaged the entire time.


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