Mr Dettman – 9En1 – Alliteration & Assonance

Due: Thursday, 22nd January

An Extension of Alliteration and another Arrow (Assonance) for your Poetic Arsenal:

1) Alliteration = the repetition of consonant sound (all non-vowels).  There are different types of alliteration, like:

‘sibilance’  – soft sounds (repetition of: ‘s’ / ‘sh’ / ‘ch’ / ‘x’ sounds.  e.g. slimy, slithering snakes.)

or

‘plosive’ – for force or extra violence (repetition of: ‘b’ / ‘p’ / ‘t’ / ‘d’ sounds. e.g. punching powerfully; rat-a-tat-tat of machine gun fire etc.

2) Assonance = the repetition of vowel sounds (i.e. A, E, I, O, U) e.g. “And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain”.  (Notice how this uses Alliteration too.)

Read The Valley of Unrest, by Edgar Allen Poe:  http://poestories.com/read/valleyunrest

B Grade: Write a short poem about a similar place of ‘Unrest’, whether a haunted house, the scene of a battle or tragedy, or an abandoned place, as studied in class today.  You should aim to include clear examples of Alliteration (sibilance or plosive).

A Grade: Like the sound in the horror clips we watched, your poem should start by using soft ‘sibilance’ to enhance tension, and build to a ‘plosive’ crescendo as the scene becomes more intense.

Extension: Use either Personification / ‘pathetic fallacy’ (if it involves nature) to give the Place of Unrest a real sense of being alive and uneasy.

Edgar Allen Poe Challenge (One for the Aspiring Poets): Mimic the metre (rhythmic structure, measured in number of beats per line) used in Poe’s poem – it’s 7, in case you were wondering! Dum, da-dah, da-dah, da-dah… etc.

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14 thoughts on “Mr Dettman – 9En1 – Alliteration & Assonance

  1. Jonah

    It should have been a death sentence, termination
    A last hurrah, or eradication.
    A thousand bombs had battered and broke
    The soil here, of all hope.
    I was once, here fearful, afraid – a gun to hand
    And I stand here again, on no man’s land.

    Now, silence. Although it is over, forgotten like it had never begun,
    the terror, still lives on.
    This place will never bring joy
    The trees sneer at me, the grass annoys
    It was shocking, horrifying, eerie at best
    This was, of course, a place of unrest.

    Reply
  2. Katie L

    Once, this place was fun for all,
    but now, the crowds start to fall.

    Presence of workers- there was none,
    when the day passes, aesthetics -null.

    Many days, many hours flecking away,
    precious time, gone; none to spare.

    The only thing thar crawls here,
    is ivy scaling the walls, near.

    The ivy, it’s crisp, to touch,
    the wind blows ever so much.

    Chills of wind cripple your spine,
    the children’s shadows, still there.

    The clouds are grey as the fog,
    the sea waves growl like a dog.

    It’s just a feeling, I say,
    the pain shakes inside me today,

    I close the parks’ gate
    I walk away.
    with no luck,
    my mind,
    shuts.

    Reply
  3. Georgia

    With another crunch- like step,
    I move closer to the hidden depths.
    Of the sinister, sullen, abandoned
    places, in hope of sanity, harmony-
    my oasis.

    The muffled shrieks of children passed,
    every one I hope will be the last, are
    echoing through my head again; waiting
    and hoping to be found. But then…

    The door opened, quick as a flash,
    the windows faster; smash, smash, smash.
    I turn to see the hooded figure,
    gun in hand, knife as near.

    As quickly as I noticed he,
    the bullet pierced straight through me.
    Straight away, I recognise, the pure hatred
    in his eyes. I fall to the floor,
    remembering the past,
    of course I hope that I’m the last.

    Reply
  4. keeley

    They left me here, grieving over you.
    From time to time i would stop crying and say…
    “What a beautiful view,”
    my sightings were wrong and and my surroundings were eerie.
    Your gravestone so lost and abandoned,
    the sight made my eyes terribly teary
    my legs feel heavy, like a sunken ship drowning in the far distance.

    The thousands of gravestones, fallen.
    But yours is much taller, towering the rest,
    still abandoned, lost in the fields of dead poppies and sunken rocks smothered in dirt like a lost cold dog.
    The moonlight shone onto your grave like a dancer in the spotlight of a famous London theatre.
    There is an almost silent shhh in the background,
    “Who is there” I whisper, I hear no reply
    The silence slithers slowly around the trees like a smooth snake looking for its dinner.
    Will it be lucky enough to find me for it’s tea? or will I live to see another day?

    Reply
  5. julie

    Chernobyl-
    One second, one sign, one sight, one life,
    gone.
    There was a bomb, there was a buzz ,you heard a bang, I heard a boom.
    Two are eradicated.
    You can run and you can hide you can drive but you will stop and
    fall.
    Too many dead, stop, I can’t count them
    The thick heavy cloak will drown you, end you in seconds.
    You can scream and you can shout and even screech it won’t stop.
    It will never stop, never end ,never go.

    The phone call, vibrates through you ear making your cells stop, buzz ,bring what could it be?
    You can somehow sense something is wrong ,not right.
    What else could it be? News, about Chernobyl.

    Devastation , shock, panic ,silence , piles of dead it will never end. In a second you are dead we all are , never forgotten never remembered.

    Years on , it is still there, not fixed just left abandoned no one will enter no one will leave.

    Never remember, never forget.

    Chernobyl!!

    Reply
  6. chessielongland

    This place was once a beauty,
    now, no one is on duty
    I face my greatest fear
    and hardly shed a tear,

    The abandoned theme park rides
    with the un-used slippery slides,
    leaving killed children’s insides
    left, forgotten forever,

    The circus tent’s untendered
    bouncy castles surrendered
    the wind whistles through the trees
    breathing out a chilling breeze,

    Shivering nervously here,
    I have faced my greatest fear,
    before I could leave this place,
    Something from the distance faced
    with a stitched smile said to me
    “Going? No! Cut to the chase!”
    I screamed a blood-curdling scream
    It beat me, looking extreme
    “You’re part of our messed up place”
    Then, grabbing himself a mace,
    executed my head then,
    abandoned me in a tent.

    If you didn’t know before,
    the dead worn out theme park floors
    are made from people like me
    who had to suffer from
    Ringmaster’s deathly tortures,
    never go to a circus,
    the killer clowns will hurt us,
    the animals are let loose,
    please can you listen to me,
    or else you will be dead too.

    Reply
  7. katie.s

    The grass so green,
    The flowers so red,
    The field in which our soldiers bled,

    The field so quiet,
    Now quite divine,
    Once was filled with piercing cries.

    Politics, anger,
    Shooting, hate,
    Led them to a deadly date.

    They left mothers, sisters, wives behind,
    They left to fight,
    Peace to find.

    Boom, Bang!
    A large mass hits,
    The soldiers crushed,
    Its called the blitz.

    Reply
  8. Saul ;-)

    The titanic, the ship of dreams.
    Now only a frame at the bottom of the sea.
    What once was a beauty, is now a wreck
    The ship of dreams, the ship of death.

    As it lies on the sea floor,
    What was ship is now no more
    The metal frames rust and the paint is gone
    Oh the titanic, sunk by dawn

    If not for the ice burg,
    Where would you be?
    The titanic, the ship of dreams
    Left to be forgotten at the bottom of the sea

    Reply
  9. shannonburrows

    some foreign country
    some weird name
    time passes,
    and they look the same
    don’t even know what they’re fighting for
    what’s there to gain
    the bloodshed of people’s brothers all in vain.

    they left there families-brothers, sisters and mothers
    to fight for their country and kill some others
    so humanity don’t surrender
    and just remember
    we are all the same
    even if we do complain.

    Reply
  10. Louis Benjamin

    Bang Bang!
    The bullets flew over our head, down in the trenches, where we safe? Weren’t we safe?
    Sharp, shot, specks of silver scatter the skies above.

    Bang Bang!
    He hit the ground!
    Bang Bang!
    He made no sound!

    Bang Bang!
    Up the ladder.
    Bang Bang!
    Our teeth will shudder.
    Bang Bang!
    A helmet flung by.
    Bang Bang!
    A body fell nigh.

    1, 2, 3
    Boom Boom!
    bodies flew high
    Boom Boom!
    We could do nothing but die.

    Reply
  11. Julius

    Once, this house was the shelter of refugees in the darkest times, the place where pleople freed their depressed minds.
    Everybody said the truth, nobody distrusted the others stories and their appereance.

    But one lie can desroy it all.
    I know this is only a half poem, but I can´t go on.I really tried and I know this is rubbish but at leas I tried. 😦

    Reply
  12. adam

    when you look about you,
    will your happiness then fade?
    when will the dept of these lives ever be repaid?
    the rivers run red with the blood of diceased,
    now that its over, you call this peace?

    when the weapons wreaked havok and reaped happiness from the land, the people looked to you for an outstretched hand, but instead you let loose a cacophany of death for all man.

    Reply
  13. Frieder

    there it sinks
    like a shot soldier
    loosing blood
    which gets colder

    the happiness
    and the fun
    from one to the other moment
    gone

    you can see it sinking
    loosing its strength
    the last lights are blinking
    and then it ends

    Reply
  14. mrdettman Post author

    The sound of a gunshot,
    A cry out in pain,
    Good? They are not,
    Screaming “You’ll remember my name!”

    Footsteps out side the door,
    Have they finally found me?
    I fall down to the floor,
    No place for amity.

    Creak, slam! Goes the door,
    He’s inside,
    He gets down on the floor,
    And drags me outside.

    A gun pointed to my head,
    The Palm trees in the distance,
    My body’s filled with dread,
    Bang! I am dead in a instance.

    But I can still hear,
    Gunshots in the distance,
    However far or near,
    Innocent people dying for their country,
    Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
    Dead, without a second thought,
    “There will be peace.” A man once sang,
    But is there any now? Nought.

    Jenna

    Reply

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