Mr Dettman – 9En1 – The Moth

“Storytelling, likely the oldest art, is revered and reinvigorated by this hour for everyday raconteurs,”  Comment on THE MOTH Radio Hour

Due: Thursday, 11th December  (Plan your Moth Story outline, due Tuesday)

Listen to one of the ‘most-listened’ stories on The Moth.

1) Summarise the story you listened to.

2) Was it an interesting theme?  Was it a good subject for a story?

3) Going by what you know makes a good storyteller, evaluate whether or not you feel the storyteller was a ‘good’ storyteller or not.  Provide them with some constructive feedback. (e.g. www/ebi)


8 thoughts on “Mr Dettman – 9En1 – The Moth

  1. Lucy Branton :3

    1) Summarise the story you listened to.
    The Story I listened to was a story performed by Ted Conover called Sing Sing Tattoo. Ted told a story about when he worked as a prison guard, and met an inmate with a really intriguing tattoo. One day, he asked the inmate: “what is that tattoo on your back?” and the inmate replied: it’s a Spanish script, a translated poem.” Ted replied: “what’s the poem?” and the inmate would reply day after day “you wouldn’t know it”. Eventually, the inmate admitted that it was from Anne Franks “Diary of a Young Girl”. Ted laughed. “That’s one on the best-known books on the planet, mate.” The inmate was stumped. Ted wasn’t sure if he remembered there being a poem in the book though, so he lent the book to the inmate who sat in his cell for two whole days reading it over again. He didn’t find it.
    Ted tells us that eventually they went separate ways, although they did keep in touch. Ted wrote asking if the inmate remembered him, and on the second letter, if he knew what the poem was yet. The inmate replied with the translation of the poem from Spanish to English. Then Ted tells us how he went to the largest public library, and checks out 25 of the 50 different editions of the “Diary of a Young Girl”. On the last edition (the 25th), on the last page, he spots the poem. The last sentence in the book- And he sends it on to the inmate.
    2) Was it an interesting theme? Was it a good subject for a story?
    The story definitely interested me. Even though it was not directly related to me and what I do, I had some kind of empathetic feelings towards the people he were mentioning- even though I did not know them personally, it made me happy that these people were actual people, not just made up. The subject on a whole was a great topic. It had the protagonist (the guard), the semi-antagonist (the inmate) and the book, which gave it a realistic feel to it, making it an interesting theme and relatable.
    3) Going by what you know makes a good storyteller, evaluate whether or not you feel the storyteller was a ‘good’ storyteller or not. Provide them with some constructive feedback. (E.g. WWW/EBI)
    I think that the storyteller was good on the terms that he understood the story he was telling (although there were a lot of stammers), but there was no video, only a voice over, so I couldn’t evaluate his body language or hand gestures. He sounded confident, eager and positive, but lacked the smoothness, and the flow of the pace which every good story teller should have. If I had to mark Ted Conover out of ten for the following, the results would be this:
    Story: 9 (not suitable language used for younger audience)
    Telling: 7 (lacks flow of telling the story)

  2. Katie L

    1. So, I listened to “Hollywood Calling… But Not Really.” Told by Simon Doonan. This story is about Simon Doonan auditioning for the role of Nigel in “The Devil Wears Prada” movie. It turns out that the casting directors got a bit attracted to him, but he continued auditioning and then left the ‘studio’.

    He then found a few more homosexual ‘fashionistas’ like himself and noticed that they too were auditioning for the part of Nigel. Simon thought that, no way, he’d definetly get the part- Nigel was English after all. So he took the bus home and thought ‘This is the last time that I can ride a bus without papparazi following my every move.’

    It turns out that he didn’t get the part and some hetrosexual actor got it instead. When Simon found out this news, his dog- Liberachi- gave him quite a sceptical look.

    Simon still went to the premiere of the film and saw an actress called Anna (I forgot her last name.) He was thinking to himself; why didn’t I get that part? Why was it him instead of me? As he “Clutched onto the shards of his broken dreams.”, he thought “What would Anna do?” And figured out that she’d just put on some shades and pick up her Chanel bag and leave. He then ended the story saying: “And that’s exactly what I’ll do next time.”

    2. I believe that it was quite an interesting storyline- it had a lot of sharp turns in the plot. The story was quite unpredictable in a way, so yes. I think that this is quite a good storyline because it’s not like everyone just casually auditions for a movie role everyday.

    3. WWW:- Doonan told the story in a very visual aspect and I could picture it in my head a lot of the time- it did make me laugh in some parts.

    EBI:- Maybe he could improve by not laughing at himself so much and maybe changing the tone slightly- he talked like he would to a friend a little too much.

  3. chessielongland

    1. The story I listened to was called ‘English Lessons’ read by Ivan Kuarev.

    2. I think that the story itself didn’t link to the title that well; the story was about an immigrant trying to gain a girl’s heart before going back to Russia.

    3. Going with what I already know about story telling, he didn’t seem too nervous, he improvised quite a lot!

    WWW- He made it seem authentic & a legitimate story.

    EBI- I think that he said the word ‘um’ too many times & stumbled a bit too much!

  4. julie

    1) Summarise the story you listened to.
    The story I listened to was by Aimee Mullins , called ( a work in progress).It was about her life with her fake leg it is about her making the best of her life it was also quite comical and had an interesting plot and I could not stop listening. One example is when she described a 4 year old girl who wanted a new leg and goggled (new leg into goggle) and the next week she saw her with a pink leg with high school musical stickers on it.
    2) Was it an interesting theme? Was it a good subject for a story?
    It was an very interesting theme and it proved that you can stand up for what you believe in. It was a great subject as she could express how she felt.
    3) Going by what you know makes a good storyteller, evaluate whether or not you feel the storyteller was a ‘good’ storyteller or not. Provide them with some constructive feedback. (e.g. www/ebi)

    WWW – I think that she is an excellent story teller as she believed in what she is saying also told it with emotion. She spoke clearly and loudly

    EBI- Maybe she could vary the speed of the speech.

  5. Jenna

    The story I listened to was ‘No Matter What’ by Mark Lukach.
    1) My story was about Mark, who married his wife, Julia, at aged 18 and her battle through depression over the period of 9 months. Mark first realised Julia was depressed when she started a new job which brought a lot of stress which caused her to stay awake at nights. Mark tried to stay up with her but used to fall alseep after a while. One morning, he woke up and she was stayed in the same place as when he fell asleep. She said “I spoke to God last night, he said everything is gonna get better.” But another morning, he woke up and she was pacing the room and said “I spoke to the Devil last night, he said I wasn’t gonna get better, that I wasn’t worth it.”

    Julia was transferred to the psych ward where she was given medication which made her go stiff, gain weight, loose the life in her eyes, and she hated it so Mark signed them up for a tacky aerobics class. One day, Mark saw two dolphins swimming together in the ocean and thought that if they could stay together in the ocean, he could stay with Julia during her battle with depression.

    Mark thought Julia would get better but she didn’t. So the doctors suggested ECT which is where you shock the person. But they gave her a different medication, which made her better. He realised this one day in the aerobics class.

    2) I think the theme for the story was really good. It made me want to listen on the whole way through and made me laugh and cry. It was a really interesting theme because you don’t know what it’s like to see someone who doesn’t have depression describe the deterioration of someone who has. It made you want to listen on to find out what happens to Julia and if she gets better.

    3) WWW- Mark told it really well and gripped the audience. He put emotion intot he story because at one point he started crying.

    EBI- If he described in more detail.

  6. Jonah

    The story I listened to was Victims Impact by Ed Gavagan.

    This story was about a man who gets attacked by a gang in New York who set out to kill a random person. He gets stabbed 3 times and is very lucky to survive. Then, just after he gets out of hospital his brother
    crashes his car at 60mph. He nearly dies. He then is pressured to make a statement about crime in court to the members of the gang who tried to kill him.

    I think the theme of the story worked well as people like to listen to horror stories and stories about crime because they want to feel surprised and shocked.

    He told the story very slowly which worked very well to show the mood of him at different points. He also pauses dramatically which gives us time to think over what is going on and builds suspense. I think he told the story very well but needed to speed up at times and change his voice pitch more.

  7. mrdettman Post author

    Posted for Lucy Bailey:
    One’s women trash:

    Basically the story is all about this women who falls in loves with a guy who loves dumpster diving. The women talks about how she goes dumpster diving with him every Tuesday and about how they find loads of food and then go to one of their friends house and eats it. She talks about how she does it because of the excitement and goes a bit into detail.

    I found it very funny and I thought it was a really good theme to choose and it got a lot of people in the audience to laugh. I think its quite hard to make up funny stories and it really made it seem real enough so you could really laugh at it.

    I think the story telling was very good. She varied her sentence and seemed like she was really passionate about her story. When she paused it built tension and you knew something funny was going to be said. Although I couldn’t see her so I wouldn’t know about eye contacts of gestures she still did a good job. The story was nice and short and she didn’t drag it out of talk really quickly.

    I would say the only thing to improve on would be vary the pitch of voice but other then that she did amazingly well and was very very good.

  8. keely

    The story I listened to was called Eye Spy by Michaela Murphy. The story definitely linked to its title in two ways. The story is about a family who experiences the same happenings as another family who live across the street. Michaela’s aunt always took her and her cousins to the same place for a weeks holiday, and the Kennedy family went to the exact same place. Michaela’s aunt’s set up their sun loungers so that they could spy on the Kennedy family. One day the children (Michaela and her cousins) found a half inflated raft which they thought they would have a ride in, of course their aunt’s weren’t watching the children as they were to busy watching the Kennedy family. Michaela and her cousins were to busy having fun to notice that they were drifting further and further out to sea. They finally noticed that the figures on the ferry were getting more and more clear and that their aunt’s were now just blobs on a sandy background. A big wave came over the top of them and left them bobbing around the sea, they looked up to see a motor boat which was being driven by two of the Kennedy boys, they pulled them into the boat and took them back to shore. Michaela and her cousins got back to the beach to hear their aunt’s lame telling off, they were told that they could only swim up to their knees so they started playing ‘chicken knocking,’ their uncle soon joined in which was unusual an Michaela accidentally kicked her uncle in the head knocking his fake eye out. Then they all search for his eye and then find out that the Kennedy family had been watching them all looking for the eye.

    I think it was an interesting theme as it was funny and kept me intrigued as to what was going to happen next.

    I think that Michaela was a very good storyteller as she was amazingly confident when speaking and she also used a lot of hand gestures to further exaggerate the story. To improve I think she could slow down a little bit because at some point she sped up.


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