KDE – 9En1 – Gothic Short Story Openings

Due: Wednesday, 17th September

Min: A4 written (remember your Paragraphing!)

9En1 – After reading some of your fantastic sensory-rich Gothic stimulus descriptions, it’s time to write the opening to your final piece.  Remember, we will redraft these, so it’s up to you as to whether you’d like to word process and then print, or write and redraft later, in your Home Learning books.  Both I will mark and give feedback, before your draft your final piece in the next few weeks.

Challenge: Take a look at these Narrative Hooks (remember, this was an interesting and engaging way of getting and keeping your reader’s attention at the beginning of the novel/short story), and perhaps you can use one or two (combined) in creating a really engaging opening for your short story.

DownloadNarrative Hooks


5 thoughts on “KDE – 9En1 – Gothic Short Story Openings

  1. Jonah


    A piercing shriek flooded through the vast, empty hallway, trapped in the encasing labyrinth of the hospital. It was coming. The inky blackness engulfed my presence as I shoot past the waiting room, vaulting the desk. I sprint for the nearest door and lock it with a satisfying click. It won’t be strong enough for them. They’ll find me and hang me up like Kevin, they always hang you up. Why do they hang you up, poor Kevin poor, poor Kevin. It’s coming, it’s coming, oh God I can hear it.
    I scream.
    I find myself lying on the floor, in a crumpled mess. I take deep breaths, like Mr Lloyd told me to do. The room is number 154, a modest patient’s room littered with the acidic odour of cleanness. I could feel my heart thrashing in my chest; every sound was augmented by the passages that doomed anyone that dared enter its depths.
    I move into the room. The darkness twisted around the room leaving patches of inky shadows I fumble around, feeling my way my shaking hand grasps on an object through the dingy depths. It’s a trolley, once used to carry equipment to and from patient’s rooms, now disused. I scrape my fingers against the trolley and look at the layer of dust that has settled around this place. I wipe my hand against my filthy jeans. I hear a scream, the helpless screech tearing through my chest. It was near; I felt the room shudder in fear as the rain batters against the eerie hell. The footsteps grew closer. My head told me to run but my feet remained unmoved, I stood there, petrified, I turn around. An unnatural warmth came over me, relief that it was over. It ripped through the fragile door, a mere inconvenience for it. I smiled as it hacked me to bits, relishing the thought that it was over. I was to be hung up like the rest of them.

  2. Katie

    My mind was spinning in lots of directions that I didn’t want to think about. I was falling far down into an unpredictable pit of confusion. My life is at risk. I am tumbling down, down and I don’t know where I’m headed. ZOOM! I felt my stomach flop as I landed. Hard. I opened my eyes only to see a wall painted in red, dripping, and bloody handprints. It had that metallic kind of smell to it which made it unique, in a bad way. I stayed there for a while, unconscious as to what my fate would come to next. Honestly, I can’t think of anything worse at the moment; in fact, I’m too tired to even function.
    I was woken up by what looked like a gothic angel. After a while, my mind came to a conclusion that this was the angel from my nightmare. I had no time to think, as there were shadows slowly approaching the background of the morgue. It almost seemed like I was the unsuspecting victim to this cruelty; a morgue is a place for dead corpses, not alive humans! I had no clue as to why I was here, so I tried to ask the angel. It said nothing but “I can’t tell you as to why you’re here, but let me tell you that death and danger is coming near. Watch out for anything you may see, because happy is something you will never be. All I can say is that why you’re here is one of my many debates. The reason, I think, is that it’s down to fate.” I was puzzled. Clearly the angel didn’t know, so why is ‘it’ stalking me? I mumbled to myself “I guess I’ve got to go and explore…” I sat up, but the angel restricted me from moving by laying me back down with the iciness of its cripple hand.

    My heart stopped for a few minutes. I felt my life coming to a screeching halt as my mind gradually began to shut itself down. “No, please, I’m too young to die!” I cried as my voice changed into a shout; “WHAT IS THIS TOURCHURE?!” Once again, the angel said nothing as a tear ran down my face and I started sobbing. I noticed that the angel was making eye contact with me, restricting itself from crying.

    I was woken up again, but this time, I was shackled in chains and a neck brace. My breathing was slowly becoming heavier and heavier. I looked straight ahead and found out that I was faced with a scientist figure with a blood stained lab coat. Was this the end of me? What am I going to do? I wanted myself to keep quiet as I knew that saying a single word could cost myself my life, but my thoughts just flew out of my mouth like a jet; “Who are you and why are you doing this to me? You know I’m only 14! What’s your problem?” The figure’s expression changed from a smirk to a frown within seconds of looking. His eyes could change anyone into stone. Minutes later, he replied; “I am your worst nightmare. Aw, you’re only young?” He said with sarcasm. “TOUGH LUCK! It seems like your mummy and daddy will miss you dearly, and guess what? They won’t even know! They will spend their lives looking for you, only to find your dead body. That’s sad, isn’t it little girl?” I gritted my teeth. I hated being called a little girl and both my parents had separation anxiety. My thoughts were interrupted. “You know what you could do to escape?” I paused. “What?” I hoped this was going to actually be something and not a lie as I knew that my neck brace was being tightened with every word. “Well?” I guess I won’t know for a long time…

  3. mrdettman Post author

    “Home Learning” Learning Muscles/House Points for Katie, Jonah and Chessie (emailed) for being incredibly quick with getting this Home Learning in, well before deadline – fantastic!

  4. julie

    I clutch my kitchen knife, even more tightly the lights were flickering over the grey ,grim ancient kitchen. It was as if the shadows were inviting me the huge room spread out for what seamed for forever. You wouldn’t expect less from an grim castle.
    I carried on destroying the carrots with my knife I looked at my hands. why were they shaking? I swear I am going crazy; there are footsteps down the halls at night; in the morning the kitchen knifes are always coved in blood and I wake up and I’ve moved 6 rooms in my sleep.
    I’ve been stranded here for weeks…I stare at my fuel gage empty, ‘great ‘ I say to my self. I’m lost in the middle of nowhere with no fuel. I knew I should of never trusted my satnav . I pull my phone from the back pocket of my jeans “great” no service. The car is slowing down…
    It suddenly stops. I look inside my car all I have is my hoodie and a satnav . I pull my hoodie on and shove my satnav in my front pocket. I brace my self for the gust of cold air as I open the car door and slam it behind me.
    The moon light lights my surroundings so I can just figure out what is out there is. Surrounded by fields that seem to go on for miles. I walked and feet sore from walking on rough grass for hours. When I found the big looming castle. My ice cold hand gripped the old , oak metal door handle. I could already smell the dust and rot for inside, I hadn’t even got in yet…Something didn’t feel right.
    My voice was horse as I whispered “how did you get here Lillie?”. She rambled on, as my hands chopped to the beat of the footsteps…

  5. katie.s

    As I walked down the deserted hallway I listened to the irregular sound of my shaky breathing, and watched the rise and fall of my chest. I walked on, down a series of empty passages and corridors. The sound of my shoes clicking, was echoing round the building, the noise sending shivers down my spine. I jumped as I thought I heard something scuttling around beneath me. There was a shadow at the end of the corridor quickly approaching me, I stopped walking. I turned around. I ran. But I just wasn’t quick enough, I could hear the whoosh of wind chasing me down, through the building. I just couldn’t get away fast enough. A damp, clammy hand grasped my shoulder,
    “You’re coming with me”. It whispered sending shivers down my spine.
    “NO” I shouted “NO I AM NOT” I replied almost screaming now. I couldn’t work out whether it was a good or bad thing that no one would be able to hear those screams.
    The ghost stood in front of me now, beckoning me with her index finger singing a song that went something like “rock – a – bye baby”. I stood where I was not going anywhere with that thing.
    The ghost turned around and I sighed with relief thinking that it was going to leave me alone, when all of a sudden it turned round, its face red and bloody with black eyes and a bleeding mouth.


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