PLE – 11xEN1 – Home learning due Wednesday 26 February

I have emailed you four exemplar pieces of Unit 1 writing from the examination board. (Copyright prevents me from making them available on the blog). For your home learning, I’d like you to give them a mark out of 20 using the mark scheme (also emailed) and give reasons. I’ll tell you the real marks in our next lesson.

By Wednesday 26 February, please.

10 thoughts on “PLE – 11xEN1 – Home learning due Wednesday 26 February

  1. Rhiannon

    The first piece of writing deserves a 8/ 13 for ideas because it was clearly structured with some good points and persuasive arguments and some good vocabulary, but there wasn’t really enough to judge. However, with SPAG it wasn’t so good because there are frequent errors in spelling and some grammatical issues that need to be addressed, therefore receiving a score of 4/7.

    Upon proof reading the second one, the personal pronoun ‘I’ is used, which isn’t really useful, although the sentence itself was good, could of been better without it. Furthermore there seem to be a lot of errors in the writing, with mass scribbles across the page, but also the statistics that were produced were not believable figures. Not many persuasive techniques used, but potential ideas are promising. The content receives 7/13 and the SPAG leaves much to be desired, where the correct punctuation should of been used, receiving 3/7.

    The third piece shows some improvements with the type of language that is being used, which in turn is very persuasive and certainly provokes people into thinking in the way that’s intended. The ideas that are shown are clearly relating to the same topic that is being answered in the first place. The content receives a mark of 11/13. However, SPAG seems to be an issue, as there is no capitalization of nouns and there is an error with spelling, nor is there any variety of punctuation, and receives a score of 4/7.

    The final piece is the best, with correct spellings the whole way through and some structure to the ideas in the way they are presented in a chronological order, although there aren’t many presentational devices such as subheadings. Overall, the content is good and deserves a mark of 11/13 because it has a positive view and persuades the reader to think it is worth something. However, there is little variety of punctuation, although the overall grammar and spelling is good so receives a 6/7.

  2. Jake Robinson

    I gave the first piece of writing a 9/13 for ideas because I thought that they made good points and structured their writing well, and also used some good persuasive devices. I only gave them a 4/7 for SPaG because their spelling was quite accurate but I felt they could have used more punctuation to make the writing flow better.

    The second piece of writing I gave an 8/13 for ideas because I thought that they madegood points but did not develop them enough. You did say earlier that the statistics could be made up, but did they have to be believable? Because I thought they were a bit far fetched. For the SPaG I gave 2-3/7 because I thought they they missed out some commas in appropriate places, which is pretty basic punctuation, and also didn’t put the apostrophe that shows ownership of something in some places (‘s).

    For the third piece of writing I gave a 9/13 for ideas because they kept repeating themselves through the text, however, they presented their ideas well and did come across quite persuasive. For the SPaG, I gave 4/7 because their spelling was fairly accurate, and they used basic punctuation well, but there was a lack of more advanced punctuation. However, they did miss out a few capital letters where appropriate.

    The last piece I thought was good and I gave 11/13 for ideas because their points were relavant and presented well, and it read very well. They were also quite persuasive. For SPaG I gave a 5/7 because they didn’t use a massive range of punctuation, but what they did use was good. Spelling was accurate and it was well structured.

    1. dartmouthacademyeng Post author

      Great stuff, Jake – thanks. Your comments about the students’ use of punctuation are great – ‘[he] didn’t put the apostrophe that shows ownership of something in some places (‘s)’ – and show that you know how punctuation should be used well.

  3. Alix Hopley

    HS2 Hairy Hiccup – 9/13 and 5/7 – I think that it deserves these marks because the ideas of the piece have been presented clearly and they are easy to understand. There is little, but some facts included and the piece describes the issue to an extent that I can understand and informs me about the matter quite well. However, there could have been more detail and facts put in, but overall it was nice to read and was understandable from a audience’s point of view. The writer has also included cohesive devices such as the picture at the end of the piece. The SPAG grade gets a 4 as there are some mistakes where capitals have been put in at the wrong place (‘Linked’) and there were a few spelling and punctuation mistakes, none that made the piece less easy to read though.
    Having fun at festivals- 7 or 8 out of 13 and 3/7 – There were many good ideas out across in the piece of writing, and the writer used some facts (70% of children who go to festivals do better in their music lessons) which made the whole piece a lot more formal and believable. The writer also included their own opinion on the topic and there was a clear argument FOR going to festivals. However, I felt it the SPAG was quite bad, there were punctuation faults such as commas in the wrong places and there were also missing capital letters at the start of some sentences. There were also a few spelling mistakes and places where words should have plural.
    Piece C? 5/13 and 5/7- I disliked this piece instantly as she kept repeating the same sentance and words at first and throughout the piece. She need a bigger vocabulary to use, she kept repeating the word overrated in particular. She also was using connectives like ‘ In addition’ to link to completely different points that were in know way ‘adding to what she had just preciously said’. She also did not write alot. The writer has used some good ideas, however the structure of her writing was poor. Her SPAG was quite good and I couldn’t really fault it, however she could have included some more types of punctuation such as semi-colons and colons.

    1. dartmouthacademyeng Post author

      Thanks for giving the task much thought, Alix, and providing so much detailed feedback. I hope you’re recognition of what makes a good piece of writing translates into your own writing being worthy of the higher grades.

  4. Piers

    Mr legowski My email is not working, my intenet is down and am using my phone would you mind if I did it for Thursday, have tried all night very sory but I can’t do anything.

    From Piers. Benjamin

  5. Daisy

    The first piece of writing (A) 8/13 4/7- I think this because the writer made clear points based on both fact and opinion including persuasive devices and used quotes to reinforce their points. Also, they showed they had a good sense of audience by placing the image at the bottom with an explanation, however she did repeat herself (‘efficient’ and ‘economy’) and didn’t use a lot of detail. The SPAG grade is because of lack of commas and the miss-use of capital letters throughout her work.

    The second piece of writing (B) 7-8/13 4/7 -I think this because the writer clearly put their opinion across to the reader with rhetorical questions and used direct address with a clear introduction and conclusion, however they made the same points from start to finish and used unrealistic statistics. The SPAG grade is because of miss-spelt words and the inaccurate use of capital letters, for example, ‘enJoyable’.

    The third piece of writing (C) 7/13 5/7- I think this because the writer has shown a clear opinion through their work and has shown a good understanding of the audience. However, they made basic points without linking them, ‘This gives children an unbeneficial experience today. The Government could make these events more beneficial.’, along with repeating the same few points. The SPAG grade is due to mostly accurate spelling and correct use of simple punctuation, but hasn’t used more advanced punctuation, for example semi-colons.

    The last piece of writing (D) 11/13 6/7- I think this because it was the best piece written with interesting vocabulary and large amount of detail added with varied sentence structure. The writer has a clear understanding of the audience and purpose. Despite there not being many presentational device, the writing was structured well. The SPAG grade is because of accurate spellings but simply punctuation use.

  6. joe dooley

    HS2 Hairy Hiccup- 8/13 and 5/7 the ideas in the piece are well structured and clearly presented, however there is very little in the way of evidence. if the writing is suppsoed to be a news article(?), then i believe the use of evidence would be appropriate. spelling was on the whole accurate though.
    having fun at festivals- 10/13 and 3/7 the piece opens very strongly, with some clear ideas. however, there are a few mistakes in the grammar, such as an incorrect form of “there” they
    have used statistics, but they are not really believable.
    piece C- 8/13 and 3/7 this piece of writing puts some good ideas across, and makes its point of
    view clear from the first line. hoewever, frequent misspellings bring down the marjk.
    piece D- 10/13 and 6/7 the piece was descriptive, however i found the tructure to be little more than a list bookended by paragraphs. SPaG was generally accurate, and sentence structure was varied. the tone was kept appropriate for the audience, and it was overall the most enjoyable piece to read.


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